


Grey Eyes

by flemoncake



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Dark, Eventual Arya Stark/Gendry Waters, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Family, First Love, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Gendry Has Nightmares, Nightmares, POV Gendry Waters, Poor Gendry, Protective Gendry, Romance, Smith Gendry, Wolves
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-07
Updated: 2019-05-07
Packaged: 2020-02-27 21:27:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18747457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flemoncake/pseuds/flemoncake
Summary: All Gendry ever wished for was to belong. While he regrets the decisions that he had made in the past, he is suffering from nightmares. But it leads all the way back to this grey-eyed girl that once asked him to be his family.Taking place in Kings Landing, starting mid-Season 7, before Ser Davos and Gendry meet again.





	Grey Eyes

_Family_. 

What a strange word. Almost exotic to him. 

 

Sometimes after having fallen into his bed alone late at night he was laying there, with his eyes closed thinking about what it would feel like to come home in the evening to a family. 

A wife, maybe children. How it would feel to have parents or even siblings.

 

He had somehow always wondered how he could still be alive when always feeling so alone. 

„I am going to die and no one will even notice“, he used to think as a young boy when he couldn't fall asleep, freezing and hungry. It _must_ be possible to die of loneliness. He had been sure of it. Then seven-year old Gendry would put his arms around himself swaying back and fort, trying not to cry, because he was so afraid to die.

His mother had died when he was still a child. Of his father, the late King Robert of House Baratheon, he learned after he had already died. 

And even if he had known about his parentage he doubted that it would have changed anything. 

He was just a bastard.

After the death of his mother he somehow survived the streets of Flea Bottom before he became Master Mott's apprentice. 

 

He didn't have much memories of this time before he started learning his trade.  
Sometimes at night he dreamed about running through the streets, being chased by shadows, dark figures, sometimes golden ones. That was all that was left from that time. 

No friends or other ties, no memories. 

This was maybe for the better. 

 

But he could never forget the feeling of being abandoned. And alone.

So he wasn't that surprised when Master Mott gave him to the Nights Watch.  
He didn't expect anything much.  
He even thought that the vows of the Nights Watch fitted well with him: Never marry, never father children and build a family. It made much sense for him then. 

At least he would have brothers. So Gendry even looked forward to take the black. 

_Brothers_.  
That sounded good enough to him.

 

It didn't work out. 

Yoren who led the new watchers to the Wall got killed by the Goldcloakes. He still felt like Yoren dying was his fault as the Goldcloakes were looking for him.

 

He was then taken to Harrenhal. 

It was a horrible place. But at least there was the forge and he found the heat of the fires in the forge and the hammering giving him at least a little feeling of familarity and belonging even it was just the anvil and the fires. 

Those were really dark times.

 

The next time a real oppurtunity to family arose was when he was with the Brotherhood. It was the first time in his life he thought he had a real chance to get to belong somewhere because he wanted to. 

 

But again. It didn't work out. They sold him to that woman. And that was the worst it got. 

 

At least he thought so before the nightmares had started.

 

 

Back at Kings Landing he managed to get on his own feet and opened up his own smithy.  
It was still lonely. He never learned to make friends obviously. 

_Friends_.

Another difficult word. 

When he didn't pay attention to his wandering mind, memories would come floating back. 

Very faint, just glimpses.  
Like mopey brown hair in a really bad haircut.  
Or a tiny frame rolled up next to him in Harrenhal while rain was pourring down at night.  
Or a castle forged sword, slim like the girl who carried it.

Not further than that he allowed himself to think about friendship.  
Gendry was well aware of the direction his mind was going when thinking too long about it and the hurt and regret that would follow.

 

War was raging on, weapons and amours were needed and he managed to make his skills known in the Streets of Steel in Kings Landing. His business consisted mostly in producing weapons for the Lannisters and with the war not ending his business went not that bad and at least now he had a little bit of money to spend. 

 

So he often found his way to a tavern and drank away his loneliness. 

As he wasn't that hard on the eyes, he knew that, there were a lot of girls wanting to keep him company. 

It was nothing like what he deeply wished for but once ot twice he allowed himself to get distracted and spend a few hours with some girl in the dark of the chamber in the back of his shop. 

At least it took his mind off and it was comforting not to lay alone, after. 

 

The last time that happened he had been quite drunk. 

It had been a gruesome day. He had gotten so many orders for armours and weapons he couldn't keep up with forging it all and to deliver on time. 

Ser Kruger, a tall knight build like an ox with the biggest hands Gendry had ever seen (and he knew a lot of people with big hands, many smiths had them, himself included)with a voice loud enough it could be heard all along the street, had stormed into his shop earlier that day showing him quite enthusiastically how he liked waiting for his order.  
By shoving him against the wall and promising him with more of that to come if he didn't finish with his order of a new sword the same day. 

 

Gendry had nursed on those bruises for over a week and had difficulties swinging his hammer over his head without cursing with pain for the rest of the day while working like a maniac.  
He had met Ser Kruger a couple times before and knew well that he was not known for his patience or breaking promises.

 

So it had not happened to be the best day.

 

After having closed up he had found his way to one of the taverns in his neighboorhood and he stayed there a long time.  
At least Ser Kruger had payed him fairly. 

Gendry wanted to forget the pain and the strains of the day and decided that spending his painfully earned money in more ale was not the worst way to call it a day. 

He had lost count on the cups he had already had when a girl sat down next to him and joined him in drinking. 

She was obviously thrilled with him _playing grumpy_ she called it, as Gendry wasn't looking for company exactely. 

She had dark brown hair and a serious face, maybe that was the reason why she took a liking in him. 

She sat down on his lap, giggeling softly into his ear. 

"What's your name, grumpy?", she asked lightly touching his chest. 

"Gendry", he answered, not commenting her hand on his chest but not removing it either. 

"Well _Gendry_ , why are so grumpy? Is there anything I can do for you to make you feel better?", she said while letting her small hands wander and then stopping at the hem of his tunic, playing with the straps. 

She shot him an enticing glance. She had pretty eyes Gendry noticed but it was too dark in the tavern to make out which colour their were. 

He said nothing, just took another sip from his ale and looking into empty space. 

"So you are a lone wolf then?", she teased. 

"Tell me about it", he thought. 

"What do you know about wolves?" he said instead. 

The girl gave him a small smile. "Enough", the look she shot him said. 

Her fingers started unlacing his tunic. She leaned down to him, her lips touching his neck on the way to his ear. 

"Wolves should not howl alone. Let me be your pack tonight", she whispered. 

Gendry gulped. That conversation felt way too familiar to another one. One he didn't allow himself to ever think about. 

In a sober state this would have made him feel very uncomfortable. Regret and hurt would pull on his heartstrings. 

In a sober state he would tell her no and find his way home. 

But tonight he was not sober, he was drunk. Pretty drunk. And feeling especially lonely. 

He put his arms around her. He had not noticed before how tiny she was. 

And after a while he gave into her advances. 

 

They stumbled into his shop kissing frantically and he took her right there against the wall next to the door to his chamber.

 

It gave him relief not to lay in the darkness alone that night. 

The girl was already asleep when he laid his arms around her, nestled his nose into her neck and her dark brown hair covering it before he fell asleep as well.

 

That night he dreamed about running through the streets of Kings Landing again. 

He ran and ran. 

He lost track of how long he had run and he had no idea where he was when he ducked into a very narrow alley. It was so long he couldn't see the end of it, only black.  
He heard a hiss behind him and out of the corner of his eye he saw the shadow grasping out for him.

He had no choice than ignoring his fear of the black alley and so he sprinted into the darkness.  
He ran, frantically checking for the shadow but he couldn't see that well as it was very dark. There was no light in any of the windows of the houses that formed the alley.  
But Gendry had a feeling he shoulnd't stop so he sprinted on-

His tunic got stuck in something, slowing him down, but Gendry just tugged at the fabric with a grunt, ripping it open.  
With his fingers still in the tear he continued his sprint.  
He wished he had not bothered about the tear at all, getting so unfocused on his surroundings as a wall suddenly appeared in front of him, out of nowhere.  
He wasn't quick enough to stop his feet and his arms where no help either, so his head was the first part of him that hit the wall.

 _Ugh_!

All went black for a few seconds. 

In the next moment Gendry was stumbeling around feeling light-headed from his head making contact with the wall. It hurt bad. Really bad.

His back hit the wall when he pressed against it, supporting his body with his head still spinning.

With one hand he touched his forehead. Something sticky and warm ran through his fingers.

 

Gendry tried really hard not to panic. He was bleeding, feeling dizzy and clearly this was a dead end and he was trapped. There was no way out. 

Looking around for any possibility to escape was useless the alley was dark and he was not sure if the stone walls were not too high to climb.  
He wasn't that much of a good climber to begin with but he had to try. Just _had_ to try.

„You are all alone, Gendry“  
He froze as he heard a whisper coming from the dark.  
„You are all alone!“

„Can one die out of loneliness?“, seven-year old Gendry cried quietly in his mind.  
Gendry was about to start crying too out of frustration of this situation he was in, trying to blend out the cries of his younger self in his head.

His hands reached to cover his ears and he shut his eyes, as he bent over, yelling „NO SHUT UP, STUPID. Stupid. Shut up stupid boy!“

No. No, no. no. Dying in this alley out of the nightmares of his younger self was not happening.  
Not yet.

So he stood up and turned around. Never before had he dared to turn around. But this time he did and and faced the shadow.  
He looked directly into its eyes. As it was a dream after all Gendry was not the slightest bit surprised the shadow even happened to have eyes. 

Grey eyes stared back and pierced into his, looking sad and disappointed. 

He would recognize those grey eyes no matter where

 

Then he woke up, breathing heavily.  
A name on his lips.  
A name he knew so well, but hadn't say out loud but once in his life. 

Too afraid of all that would come with it.

 _Arya_. 

**Author's Note:**

> Taking it quite slow, sorry.  
> Arya will be there soon.
> 
> I love Gendry so much!!!  
> Somehow I think all will turn out very positive for those two, they will find their way. 8x04 is not the end for Arya and Gendry's future, have faith Gendrya shippers <3
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
